


If Only

by Faratiano



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Drama, Marriage, Multi, Newtina wedding, Romance, Weddings, newletina, this is going to be painful y'all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-17
Updated: 2019-11-17
Packaged: 2021-02-08 05:21:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21470707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Faratiano/pseuds/Faratiano
Summary: For the first time in years, Newt greeted her with the biggest hug.He pulled her right in just when Leta opened the door. Along with the same biggest grin she has ever seen on him, like he was the happiest man on earth. And apparently, he is. Of course, what kind of man who isn't happy on his wedding?
Relationships: Leta Lestrange & Newt Scamander, Leta Lestrange & Tina Goldstein, Leta Lestrange/Newt Scamander, Tina Goldstein/Leta Lestrange, Tina Goldstein/Leta Lestrange/Newt Scamander, Tina Goldstein/Newt Scamander
Comments: 7
Kudos: 23
Collections: Fantastic Beasts Week 2019





	If Only

**Author's Note:**

> Day 1 for #FBWeek2019 : Songs
> 
> I chose "If Only" by Andrea Bocelli ft Dua Lipa. I suggest you to listen to it while reading this :)

For the first time in years, Newt greeted her with the biggest hug.

He pulled her right in just when Leta opened the door. Along with the same biggest grin she has ever seen on him, like he was the happiest man on earth. And apparently, he is. Of course, what kind of man who isn't happy on his wedding?

It wasn't hard for Leta to do the same action in return, thanks to his bright and joyful energy. Newt Scamander, her long best friend, was wearing a fine, three-piece black suit. No lost buttons, or thin dangling threads like almost all of his attires. Yet his ginger hair remained frizzly, as if the only effort he took was combing them once.

"How do i look?"

Leta chuckled, "Like a handsome groom you are," she said, hands reached out to fix the position of his tie, "Though i thought Theseus would lend you his hair gel."

"Oh, he did. But Tina said i don't have to use them. She doesn't want me to feel too uncomfortable with all… this."

Her heart twisted a bit when she heard that name, as she was immediately reminded of the reason why she came, other than supporting people she loves dearly. Nevertheless, she managed to keep herself together.

"You know what, she's right. You look better this way," said Leta, ruffling his hair affectionately. "Where is she, anyway?"

"Upstairs, in my old room. Queenie's helping her to get ready."

Leta gave him a slow nod. She exhaled, trying her best to keep her wide smile. She didn't want to ruin such cheerful mood from Newt. "Are you nervous?"

Her best friend grinned while shoving one hand into his pocket, "Very," he admitted. "But well, in my philosophy, worrying makesㅡ"

"You suffer twice." Leta completed him with a giggle, knowing that sentence too well. She repeated it in her own mind. He's right, There shouldn't be anything to worry about.

Especially when Leta already knows how it would end.

"You're doing great, Newt," she said, "I'll see you later, okay?"

"Okay."

She gave a gentle pat on his shoulder and about to walk out the door, until Newt suddenly called her. When she turned around, before she could say anything, she once again found herself in his tight embrace. Although surprised, Leta gladly hugged him back.

"I'm so glad to see you, Leta." He said softly, "Thank you for coming."

Face buried against his chest, Leta tried to hold back her tears. Touched by his words, yet guilty. She wished she could be more proper, more genuine in congratulating him… rather than having to hide this tremendous pain.

_ Don’t they say when you find love _

_ Keep it close _

  
  


Every step she takes feels heavier than before. Cold hand gripping tight along the stairs border as she made her way to the next floor. The closer she got to the said room, the more she dove in her thoughts. Will she be alright? Will she able to keep herself together as she's talking to _ her _?

  
  


_ Treasure it like the sunset _

_ Like something more than gold _

  
  


She should have.

All those times they'd spent together. Those beautiful moments they've shared. Leta regretted immensely how she didn't appreciate them, and instead too busy drowning herself with self-loath, pushing the world away from her until it was too late for her to realize how much she was loved.

_ And did we almost know it? _

_ Did we almost have it all?_

Leta froze as she stood before the door. All she needs to do is knock and turn the knob, yet she hesitated.

_ 'I know, i'm not the right person to be loved.' _

_ 'I want to see you as my friend, as i've always been. And i don't want to go any further than that.' _

Yet here she was, devastated because the person she loves is getting married. Losing her chance all because of no one but herself.

What was she thinking?

_ 'I shouldn't see you again.' _

Leta still remembers those words ten months ago. Her own words that turned out to be another greatest mistake she'd ever made. Leta immediately shook her head before they get to haunt her mind.

This is it.

She will reconcile. With her, with Newt, and most importantly, with her own feelings. She will stop blaming herself and drowning herself in regret. All Leta wanted was to wish the couple well, and be truly happy for them.

Taking a deep breath, she finally knocked.

The first sight Leta sees when she stepped into the room was a tall woman facing a mirror. Already in her wedding gown, a bouquet of lilies in her hands as Leta could see from the reflection of the mirror. Tina Goldstein, soon to be Scamander, has never looked so radiant. A shy yet proud smile spread across her face. Which unfortunately vanished as she saw Leta. She looked surprised, though not in a pleasant way.

The memory slowly became more vivid to her; them lying on the grass, gazing at the starry night sky. Their heads against each other. Hands almost intertwined. Such wonderful, and delicate moment.

_ Before we let go _

  
  


Queenie, who was standing next to her sister fixing her veil, seemed had read the situations between them already. She cleared her throat. "I'm just… gonna find my husband. See you at the aisle, Teenie."

The younger sister left almost too quickly, leaving the two women to have their own space. Tension began to grow in the atmosphere.

_ "Why do you always push me to Newt?" Tina shifted her body to face her. Finger tracing light circles on Leta's arm. _

_ "Well, my best friend is in love. I just want to help." _

_ Tina huffed. Again with that answer. "Leta, there's something i wanna tell youㅡ" _

_ "And i'd rather not hear it." Leta interrupted immediately. "Please, Tina. Before any of us get hurt." _

_ And with that, she meant herself. _

To Leta's surprise, Tina opened the conversation first, "I never thought you would actually come." She said nonchalantly.

"Of course i would. I made a promise to Newt. Andㅡ" Leta pushed some strays of her hair behind her ear, trying to ease her nervousness. "I also came for… you."

"For me? Really?"

The bitter response caused Leta's heart to ache. "Tina, i need to talk to youㅡ"

"Don't."

Tina finally turned around, meeting Leta's gaze. That moment, Leta realized that she too, was trying to contain her emotions. "Please, don't do this," said Tina, her voice breaking. "It's too lateㅡ"

"I know."

There was a beat.

"But i need to say this before i regret it more than i already am." Leta continued, a desperation hidden in her shaky voice.

_ If only we could turn back time _

_ Take back the day we said goodbye_

After a few moments, Tina heaved a sigh. She put down her bouquet. A sign she's willing to listen. Leta stepped closer. 

"I'm sorry. For shutting you out, leaving you that night before you get to say anything," she said, slowly walking closer, and closer, "I pushed you away because i was too afraid. Being rejected, afraid of getting hurt. I was… i was too busy denying my own feelings that i didn't notice how much you felt the same way about me."

"All this time, i'm the one who had been hurting _ you _, and it was so stupid of me to not realize it for so long. I know it was too late for me, and none of my words now would change anything, but," Leta paused for a moment to take a deep breath, her eyes watery, "I need you to know that i regretted everything i've said back then. I'm so sorry, Tina. I should've listened to you first."

The two women stood face to face, only a couple steps from each other. Tina looked down. One hand covering the lower half of her face. Her eyes shut tightly and her shoulders were slightly trembling. After a few seconds of silence, she took a deep breath. Dabbing her wet cheeks.

"You know, i really thought it was the perfect moment." Tina spoke. Smiling sadly. "I wouldn't have prepared so much if i knew you would leave me there."

Leta could never forget how heartbroken Tina looked when she told her they shouldn't see each other again. Her desperate voice calling Leta's name over and over as she walked away. It was only one week later Leta had Tina's brother in law, Jacob, visited her. He came because he wanted Leta to know what she had done to his sister in law, since Queenie was too disappointed to do so. 

The muggle had never looked so bitter as he told her Tina was hurt so bad she fell sick for two days, right after that night. Leta immediately felt guilty, regretting every bit of what she said and did, especially after Jacob told her what Tina's true intention was. 

"If things were different," said Leta, "If i hadn't left you that night, ten months agoㅡ"

"Then you already know the answer."

If only Leta hadn't hold back.

If only Leta hadn't been so scared of her own feelings.

If only Leta had _ listened _.

"But i love Newt now. We have committed to each other." Tina continued in a clearer voice. As if convincing both leta and herself. "I've moved on, Leta. And so should you."

Move on. Of course. It wasn't going to be an easy path, but Leta hoped this conversation could be the first step for her. "Only if you promise you won't leave me as a friend."

"I promise."

How Leta wished she had a time-turner, reversing it to that night before so she could take back her words, staying just a little longer to listen so she wouldn't hurt her.

_ Maybe your heart would still be mine_

Leta sniffed. With a wide smile, she held Tina's hands. "Good luck, Tina." She tried to sound more cheerful this time. "Take a deep breath, don't be nervous. You look beautiful."

Tina chuckled while carefully wiped her tears away, "Thanks."

Leta gave her hands a squeeze in a comforting manner. Lovingly gazed at the bride for the last time before finally letting go. She made her way towards the door until,

"Leta?"

Her soft voice stop Leta's steps. She turned around, didn't have the chance to respond because next thing she knew, Tina's hands were cupping her face, pressing lips against hers. Leta closed her eyes, instinctively leaned into the kiss. It was gentle and warm, like everything Leta thought she could only dreamed of. Lingering for a while before they pulled each other into a hug.

"_ I loved you," _ Tina whispered. "I truly did."

Tears streamed down Leta's face, wetting Tina's shoulder. All she could do was cherishing every second of being in her arms.

_ My love, if only _

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Fin**

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!! Kudos are appreciated and let me know what you think!
> 
> See you on day 2 ;)


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